In loving memory of Alfred Singbeil. February 28, 1931 - April 26, 2013
My friend suddenly passed away at age 82. I found myself reflecting about life and death at his funeral. As I watched the photos of Alfred during the slideshow, it was like watching a snap-shot of light that captured a moment in time; a moment that remains a memory. My final memory of Alfred is when he hugged me good-bye after our bi-weekly visit and massage, smiling with that all too familiar sparkle in his eye like he is about to tell a joke. Alfred passed away later that night.
As I sat in the pew at the church, watching the photos of Alfred and the story of his life that it painted, I realized what a full life he led. Alfred survived the German war as a young boy, relocated back onto Polish farms to run them as his own, while his dad was drafted into the German army. When the Russian army advanced into Poland, the Singbeil family fled in the midst of winter back to East Germany. At the age of 18 in 1949, Alfred along with the Singbeil family immigrated to Canada and settled in Winnipeg, Manitoba. It was in September 1955 that Alfred met the love of his life, Olga and she became his dear wife on January 21, 1956; only 4 months after meeting each other! In 1963, Alfred moved his family to Kelowna. A carpenter, trumpet player, band conductor, fisherman, fruit farmer, loving husband and father, grandfather and friend; his life was so full.
Lying on my massage table, Alfred would share stories from his life in Germany and Poland. Of the day he met Olga, and how they have remained happily married for 57 years. When I asked him what is the secret to lasting love, he told me it all boils down to communication. After watching Alfred and Olga together, I have learned that keeping a sense of humour about things is also a big part of their secret. On my visits to the Singbeil home, I always laughed as the two love birds as they joked with each other. Olga would assist getting Alfred on my massage table by straightening out the sheets and stroking the cow lick on the back of his head. She would peep into the room to finish his sentences, or clarify a story he was trying to articulate. I always left their house feeling light, happy and full of love - and with cookies or fresh baked goods!
It is sad to say good-bye to my dear friend Alfred, but I also feel so very blessed to have known him. I have learned so much from this wise man who's experienced life has taught me so much about love, humour, gratitude and about living each day as it if were the last.
After Alfred's funeral my fiance and I were discussing how we picture our own funerals. I want people to show up to happy music playing and to be handed a glass of champagne so that everyone can toast to the amazing life I lived! I have been reminded this week how important it is to do things NOW...because if I wait until the 'right' time, it will never come. On my death bed I want to know that I lived a full life, and that I enjoyed every laugh, every tear, every challenge and every triumph. I want to be grateful for all that I have each and every day knowing that it's the little things that matter most. I want to be proud that I stepped into fear, felt every emotion, that I focused on the solution, that I laughed when things got tough, and that I truly lived full of contentment, gratitude and happiness.
During this difficult time of loss, Olga has demonstrated her strength by putting her hand on everyone else's shoulder while they cried. But at the same time she has allowed herself to grieve and cherish every day her and Alfred shared. We are all so surprised that he is gone, but can find gratitude in all that he had.
For some inspiration about living every day as if it were your last, listen to The Kickass Life podcast:
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.