What comes first, success or happiness?

When I graduated from Massage Therapy College and started my full-time job, I remember asking myself, is this it?  What's next?  After graduating from high school while juggling my gymnastics career, 4 years of university and 2 years of private collage, I thought at the end of it all I would be happy!  Yes I was relieved I no longer had to go to school and I had become a Health Care Professional, but the celebration was short lived.  Soon I found myself striving to work harder as a Massage Therapist so I could earn a greater income.  The problem was no matter what I did, success always seemed one step away, and I was depending on my success to be happy!  When would I truly be happy?

As a young gymnast with an Olympic dream, I was taught that the harder I worked the more successful I would be;  if I worked hard enough I would go to the Olympics and be happy making all the effort and sacrifice worth it.  When I missed making the Olympic team by only a few spots I felt like a failure and incredibly disappointed that I had sacrificed my childhood for a dream I never realized.  The race for success continued into my adult life as I continually set goals for myself, hoping that would bring me happiness.  But it seemed the harder I worked, the more I sacrificed my present enjoyment, hoping that I would be happy in the future.  As long as I believed in no pain, no gain, all I got was no happy! 

I refer to this period in my life as' always striving and never thriving'.  Tal Ben-Shahar, author of 'Happier' would classify me as A Rat Racer.  Someone who lives in the hope for being happy in the future, and yet is unable to enjoy the here-and-now.  The science of happiness explains that when I was waiting to be happy until I successfully completed a goal, the brain automatically prevents me from reaching happiness because the brain measures the achieved success, then changes the goal!  I'm willing to bet that I'm not the only one who believes that we have to be successful in order to be happy.  Well as it turns out, we have the happiness formula backwards!

Shawn Achor studied the science of happiness at Harvard University and discovered that we commonly assume that our external world is predictive of our happiness levels.  He found that in reality only 10% of long term happiness is determined by our external world.  90% of long term happiness is based on the way our brain processes the external world.  So this means that our happiness is determined by the lens from which we see the world.  It's a matter of perspective!

Shawn Achor explains that if we can raise the level of positivity in the present  moment, the brain experiences what he calls 'A Happiness Advantage'.  When the brain is happy, it performs significantly better than it does when its negative, neutral or stressed.  A happy brain increases intelligence, creativity and energy levels and every single business outcome improves.  When the brain is positive, people are 31% more productive and 37% better at sales.  Studies in the science of happiness found that only 25% of job success is predicted by IQ and  75% of job success is predicted by optimism levels, social support and the ability to see stress as a challenge instead of a threat. 

So if happiness comes before success, the next step is to re-wire our brains by training them to become more positive, just like I trained my body to do gymnastics.  Practicing positivity 2 minutes a day for 21 days in a row is the key to creating lasting positive change.  

We can do this through 5 practices:

1. GRATITUDE - Stating 3 things we are grateful for, every day for 21 days.  This will re-wire the brain to scan the world for positive things.
2. JOURNAL - Journaling 1 positive experience over the last 24 hours allows the brain to re-live it.
3. EXERCISE - Exercise teaches our brains that our behaviour matters, and releases happy hormones into our system, like Dopamine, which turns on the learning centers in the brain. 
4. MEDITATION - Meditation helps us get over our cultural ADHD and trying to do several tasks at once, and teaches us how to focus.
5. RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS - We can do this in many ways, Shawn Achor suggests writing one email a day thanking someone in our social support system.  But this could be as simple as noticing a stranger needing help opening a door, or helping an elderly person across the street.

Our family has dinner together most nights and we have a ritual where we share 2 things we are grateful for, one thing we were good at that day, and one thing we are looking forward to.  The kids love this process and are the ones who initiate it at meal time.  My next step is to in corporate these 5 steps to lasting positive change and practice happiness in order to achieve success!

What I'm really excited about is as we train our brains for more positivity and practice happiness in order to experience more success in our own lives, we will create a ripple effect and contribute to the happiness revolution! 

    

Where I'm Going I Don't Need Any Bags

Have you ever wanted something in life, but didn't believe you deserved it?  Did you blame your past experiences, or let your insecurities get in the way of your success?  

When I didn't make the 1992 Olympic Gymnastic Team, I blamed myself for many years about the mistakes I had made that cost me a spot on the team, and I held on to the belief that I was a failure.  My failure to make the team reinforced that I simply wasn't good enough, and I resented the time I had sacrificed to realize my Olympic dream.  I carried the negative experiences and hurtful stories as an elite gymnast in a big fat heavy bag, cutting into my shoulders for years after I retired from the sport.

In the beginning - 9 years old

12 years after I retired from gymnastics, I asked my brother to transfer the archaic VHS video of my Olympic Trials onto an updated CD.  When I watched my performance for the first time, after so many years of being away from the sport, it was like watching myself through a different lens.  In the past I would watch my routines and be critical of every little mistake, or beat myself up for not performing as well as I know I could.  However that day for the first time, I saw a talented little girl competing at the Olympic level and I noticed that I simply didn't believe in myself.  My posture and body language spoke volumes about my mindset; I didn't believe I deserved a spot on the Olympic Team. I was unhappy and my sadness played out in my routines like a country song. As I watched, I realized in that moment that I had been holding onto a story about myself that wasn't true, and that story ultimately cost me my Olympic dream.  I have since asked myself, what if I did believe in myself and my ability to make the Olympic team?  Would I have prepared differently?  Would I have performed differently?  Would I have ended up with a different result?          

I realized that the habits and attitudes that I created as a gymnast were playing out in all aspects of my life; my relationships, my career, even the choices I made were all suffering because of the baggage and mindset I was holding on to.  

Motivational speaker and author Les Brown says, "you don't get in life what you want; you get in life what you are.  You cannot expect to achieve new goals or move beyond your present circumstances unless you change."  In that moment of realization, I  understood that the only thing standing in my way of true happiness and success, was me.  As long as I held onto my story of not being good enough, the more I would continue to stand in my own way.  I had to change.  

Since recognizing my self limiting beliefs I have been on a journey to discover true inner happiness. It has taken many years to re-wire my brain and create new habits and attitudes that now bring joy and contentment into my life.  

At retirement 1993

My biggest life lesson from my gymnastics career is that it's important to have goals, even big goals like becoming an Olympian, but its the journey that I experience along the way to realizing those goals that matters most.  No I didn't become an Olympian, but I can celebrate the success I had along the way to qualifying for Olympic Trials.  I had unique experiences, I made great friends and I created a habit to live a healthy lifestyle. I would not have become a Massage Therapist without all the injuries I had, and I would not have become a Yoga Teacher, and certainty would not know what its like to live passionately.  I am who I am because of my past experiences, and today, I am very proud of who I have become and grateful for all that I have.  

I have learned from Les Brown that the things I want are always possible; it is just that the way to get them are not always apparent.  The only real obstacle in my path to a fulfilling life is the story I chose to believe about myself, and that can be a considerable obstacle when I carry the baggage of insecurities and past experiences.  What I found is that the key to my happiness is to forgive myself for my faults and mistakes, and move on. 

I'm learning that as I travel towards a happier life, its best to leave the baggage behind.  I deserve all that I have in life and all that I can dream of having; anything is possible with the right mindset.  Moving on with gratitude, acceptance and forgiveness.    

To the happy journey ahead,

ZenJen :-)

https://www.facebook.com/zenjenhappitude

Where I'm Going, I don't Need Any Bags

Have you ever wanted something in life, but didn't believe you deserved it?  Did you blame your past experiences, or let your insecurities get in the way of your success?  

When I didn't make the 1992 Olympic Gymnastic Team, I blamed myself for many years about the mistakes I had made that cost me a spot on the team, and I held on to the belief that I was a failure.  My failure to make the team reinforced that I simply wasn't good enough, and I resented the time I had sacrificed to realize my Olympic dream.  I carried the negative experiences and hurtful stories as an elite gymnast in a big fat heavy bag, cutting into my shoulders for years after I retired from the sport.

In the beginning - 9 years old

12 years after I retired from gymnastics, I asked my brother to transfer the archaic VHS video of my Olympic Trials onto an updated CD.  When I watched my performance for the first time, after so many years of being away from the sport, it was like watching myself through a different lens.  In the past I would watch my routines and be critical of every little mistake, or beat myself up for not performing as well as I know I could.  However that day for the first time, I saw a talented little girl competing at the Olympic level and I noticed that I simply didn't believe in myself.  My posture and body language spoke volumes about my mindset; I didn't believe I deserved a spot on the Olympic Team. I was unhappy and my sadness played out in my routines like a country song. As I watched, I realized in that moment that I had been holding onto a story about myself that wasn't true, and that story ultimately cost me my Olympic dream.  I have since asked myself, what if I did believe in myself and my ability to make the Olympic team?  Would I have prepared differently?  Would I have performed differently?  Would I have ended up with a different result?          

I realized that the habits and attitudes that I created as a gymnast were playing out in all aspects of my life; my relationships, my career, even the choices I made were all suffering because of the baggage and mindset I was holding on to.  

Motivational speaker and author Les Brown says, "you don't get in life what you want; you get in life what you are.  You cannot expect to achieve new goals or move beyond your present circumstances unless you change."  In that moment of realization, I  understood that the only thing standing in my way of true happiness and success, was me.  As long as I held onto my story of not being good enough, the more I would continue to stand in my own way.  I had to change.  

Since recognizing my self limiting beliefs I have been on a journey to discover true inner happiness. It has taken many years to re-wire my brain and create new habits and attitudes that now bring joy and contentment into my life.  

At retirement 1993

My biggest life lesson from my gymnastics career is that it's important to have goals, even big goals like becoming an Olympian, but its the journey that I experience along the way to realizing those goals that matters most.  No I didn't become an Olympian, but I can celebrate the success I had along the way to qualifying for Olympic Trials.  I had unique experiences, I made great friends and I created a habit to live a healthy lifestyle. I would not have become a Massage Therapist without all the injuries I had, and I would not have become a Yoga Teacher, and certainty would not know what its like to live passionately.  I am who I am because of my past experiences, and today, I am very proud of who I have become and grateful for all that I have.  

I have learned from Les Brown that the things I want are always possible; it is just that the way to get them are not always apparent.  The only real obstacle in my path to a fulfilling life is the story I chose to believe about myself, and that can be a considerable obstacle when I carry the baggage of insecurities and past experiences.  What I found is that the key to my happiness is to forgive myself for my faults and mistakes, and move on. 

I'm learning that as I travel towards a happier life, its best to leave the baggage behind.  I deserve all that I have in life and all that I can dream of having; anything is possible with the right mindset.  Moving on with gratitude, acceptance and forgiveness.    

To the happy journey ahead,

ZenJen :-)

https://www.facebook.com/zenjenhappitude

The Reality Of Abundance

I am currently participating in Deepak Chopra's 21 day meditation challenge.  I thought I would share with you my journey of new awareness as I cultivate abundance consciousness. 

Deepak says true abundance is when all our needs are easily met and our desires are spontaneously fulfilled.  We feel joy, health, happiness, a sense of purpose and vitality in every moment.

He urges that we don’t seek abundance, but notice whats already there.  I reflected on nature's gifts like sunrise, a star lit sky, the warmth of fire, the soothing sound of rain, clouds over the mountains, birds singing in morning.  Witnessing examples around me leads to abundance consciousness.

I am beginning to see that the perfection in nature is also seen in me...I am a reflection of the universe.  It is absurd to think that I see the perfection in nature but do not recognize it in myself. 

When I understand that there is no such thing a scarcity or lack in the universe, I can recognize that there is unlimited abundance, provided I am open to receive them and sharing my gifts with the world.

Abundance to me means a life of ease, health, love and joy where every moment of every day has a sense of purpose. I see that I am a reflection of the universe, perfectly imperfect. I believe that when I am open to the abundance around me the universe sends me exactly what I need.

Abundance is all around me, I don't need to seek it, but simply become aware of it. When I'm focused on all that is and all the I am, I realize in that moment I need nothing more, I am content. I am a reflection of the universe, perfectly imperfect, and everything I need will be provided if I am open to receiving it. Pay attention to the beauty of nature and focus on what I have rather than on what I don't.  I will feel joy when I share my talents with others, giving to

Eat And Be Happy

Do you often feel rushed in the morning and skip breakfast to make up time? Are you cutting out meals to try and lose weight but finding that those stubborn pounds don't come off? I often get so busy through the day that I forget to eat and find myself reaching for unhealthy snacks or over-eating at dinner because I'm so hungry.  When I eat an unhealthy snack my belly triggers an unpleasant roller coaster ride of a sugar high and then a sugar low! I feel grumpy and unhappy.  This is not exactly a great habit to get into it.        

Did you know that prolonged periods without eating can make you crave fatty, high calorie foods over healthy, nutritions foods?  When you starve your body of nutrients, it protects you from starvation by hanging onto every calorie you have previously consumed and slows down your metabolism.  

What if I told you that eating regularly throughout the day could contribute to healthy weight loss?  Eating a balanced breakfast is a fabulous tactic that can help you avoid the call of unhealthy snacking. According to a new study out of Imperial College London, researchers found that subjects who passed on breakfast showed actual brain activity that led to temptations for fatty, high calorie foods later in the day. “One reason it is so difficult to lose weight is because the appeal of high calorie food goes up,” explains study author Dr. Tony Goldstone in a press release. In the study, 21 normal-weight subjects were shown pictures of food while they were positioned in a magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) machine, which takes scans of brain activity. Subjects were fed a 730 calorie breakfast an hour and a half before the scans on one day and then given no breakfast the second day before the scans. The researchers focused on changes in the part of the brain that is thought to be involved in food appeal—the orbitofrontal cortex. They found that skipping breakfast created a “bias” in the brain in favor of high calorie foods. In other words, participants who did not have breakfast had an increase in brain activity in the orbitofrontal cortex when fatty, calorie dense foods were shown.

If you are trying to lose those stubborn pounds, start by eating a nutritiously balanced breakfast and having healthy snacks between meals.   Not only does this keep your blood sugar stabilized but maintains the happy chemicals in your brain.  Lets set ourselves up for success by regularily feeding our digestive system the nutrients it needs throughout the day. The secret to a happy body is by eating - who doesn't like the sound of that?   From someone who LOVES food, i'm off to make a snack! :-)

Bon a petite :-)  

Lifetime Financial Security

I was speaking to a friend of mine the other day about healthy aging, who is approaching age 55.  She interestingly responded to me by saying, “but why would I want to live longer, how will I afford to live to over 100 years old when I’m already retired?”.  That’s when it hit me, like a cartoon character with the lightbulb over it’s head.  The only way to support ourselves in today’s economy is by building residual income, and that’s when I felt so grateful that I have started a business in network marketing.

Financial literacy activist, Robert Kiyosaki says “ The days of lifetime job security and your mutual funds going up by 20% per year are over. If you think your mutual funds will carry you after you retire, I think you had best make other plans.”  Kiyosaki recommends network marketing because it is the business of the future.

I’ll bet you’re reading this and thinking, like my friend, that your looking for new answers and new ways to find true long-term financial security! Kiyosaki states that “a network marketing business is one of the asset classes. It is a business. If you work hard and build the business, that business will give you the excess cash to acquire the real estate and stocks that will give you true long term financial security…security you can pass on to your loved ones. You can’t do that with your job, no matter how secure it is.  Your J O B keeps you Just Over Broke! Network marketing is an asset, not a job.

Network marketing is the business of the 21st century.  What i’ve learned is to find a company that I am passionate about, to be commited to helping myself AND to helping others, and to never quit!  Just like I studied Massage Therapy for 2 years to become a health care professional, then practiced in the field for 2 years to build a clientele before I had a stable income.  I will allow myself the time to learn to become a professional network marketer, only this time I won't have the massive student loans to pay off!

Join me in saying good-bye to trading time for dollars and working hard in a job that has a ceiling on how much I can make!  Be your own boss, work part-time or full-time and create the income you desire, become a network marketing professional by earning while you learn!

I have found a network marketing company that I feel passionate about because I'm not only helping myself become physically healthy, I'm looking after my financial wellness too.  AND I get to help other people become healthier and afford to live longer.  I get to live a life of purpose by helping others find health, wealth and happiness!  

AND I can let go of worrying about my financial future and cordially invite you to my 100th birthday party on our island in Belize where I’ll challenge you to limbo  :)

LIFE BY DEZYNE

MY BUDDHA BUDGET

This past week I was feeling like I had a 90 year old body and was experiencing head aches, back pain and fatigue. So I visited my chiropractor, who first told me that "age is a state of mind" (shame on me) and then suggested my symptoms were the result of stress overloading my nervous system.  Ah ha! I thought, because at the beginning of each month I 'conscientiously' review my budget and after this months review, I have reason to be stressed!

But when I was completely honest with myself, I realized I did not tell the chiropractor that I just returned from 3 weeks holiday in Bali splurging on jewellery, amazing food and 'important' nick-nacks.  That when I returned home, I spent three consecutive nights staying up late, catching up on the wine we didn't drink in Bali and became a couch potato watching movies with the kids.  That niggly feeling of anxiety around my finances is truthfully, only a small contributor to the toll I'm putting on my nervous system!

How do I design life I want without feeling 90 years old and stressing about how much it costs? Well, my chiropractor answered the first part...I am only as old as I think I am.  And my professional opinion recommends getting more sleep and exercise! Now, how do I find Zen when managing money?

"Gymnast Jen", the old me who was an Elite gymnast throughout her childhood, tried to be perfect at everything and was a tad bit hard on herself when she wasn't.  Gymnast Jen would worry about everything and would wallow in misery while focusing on the problem, rather than on the solution!  Becoming "Zen Jen" means letting go of fear and staying present in order to find clarity!  So today, as ZenJen, I'm applying the Yoga principles of CONSCIOUSNESS AND COMPASSION to how I think about my finances!

"WHERE EVER I PLACE MY CONSCIOUSNESS, CHANGE TAKES PLACE!"

According to a recent article in Yoga Journal, in order to change money habits for the better, we shouldn't force ourselves to stick to a "spartan budget", but instead, they suggest we identify our most important values and understand how money serves them.  Our values will pull us in the right direction!  And a budget will help us observe our spending habits and cultivate an awareness around them.

4 STEPS TO CREATING A HAPPY BUDDHA BUDGET

Here's how I'm creating a no worries budget by using the principals of meditation and Yoga:

1.  IDENTIFY MY VALUES  (Identify what I want in my life, not what I don't want in my life)

• Safety  
• Connection 
• Passion  
• Purpose  
• Balance 
• Freedom  

2.  IDENTIFY MY HABITS (Notice my repetitive thoughts and behaviours around money/budgeting)

• I'm a money hoarder and fear accumulating bad debt.
• My current budget habits are focused primarily on paying down debt as quickly as possible 
• When I spend on play or travel before paying off debt, I feel guilty and worrisome.

3. OBSERVE WITHOUT JUDGEMENT  (Notice, without beating myself up)

• I focus most of my attention on managing debt rather than on income generating activities. 
• When I put money towards splurging on adventures or travel I feel guilty that I didn't put it towards paying down debt.
• I often have buyers remorse when I buy things for myself.
• My current budget is focused on surviving rather than on thriving.
• I hoard my money because i'm afraid of becoming broke and this fear keeps me attached to my J.O.B., where I have a false sense of security.

4.  IDENTIFY ACTION STEPS - (Find clarity and generate transformation - aligning my finances with my values)

• Safety - Create multiple income streams in order to secure my financial future.
• Connection - Feeling connected to the people I work with and having time-freedom away from work to spend with friends and family. 
• Passion - Design a career around what I love to do.  Work because I want to, not because I have to.  
• Purpose - Work because I want to help others, not just to earn money to my pay bills.  
• Balance -  Balancing paying down debt and saving for the things that bring me joy.  Focus on   generating income rather than on working harder to eliminate debt .  
• Freedom - Focus my attention on generating residual and passive income streams so I can leave my J.O.B. and stop trading time for dollars and instead earn money while I sleep.
• In order to attract more of what I want!, when ever I see a penny on the street I will pick it up, put it in my pocket and say "Thank-you, thank-you, thank-you, I am a money magnet!" 

So how do I afford the life I want?  I may have some guilt around splurging on a trip to Bali, but one of the lessons I brought home with me from the Balinese is to always focus on gratitude.  I'm finding that the more I focus on what I do have, rather than what I don't have, the richer I feel.  As I focus on generating money, rather than on my debt, the more abundance I attract into my life.  What I focus on expands, and being clear about what I value and my habits around money, I am choosing to focus less on my debt and more on the money coming in.  

My Happy Buddha Budget will be realistic in order to protect my financial future and will buy my happiness by focusing on gratitude.  And if I have a bad week...I will remember that the past is history, there is no sense worrying about things I can't change!  The only safe place is in the here and now, this moment is where I can make a difference.

WIth gratitude for this new awareness, let the journey continue!

Woo Woo!

Zenjen :)